Our heat index on Friday was 116 degrees. I feel like I'm back in Texas. It's hot and dry and icky. And the idiots who live in my neighborhood keep shooting off fireworks. Over a week of fireworks. And it's not like they're consistent either; one goes off at 7:00, then 9:15, than a few at 9:45, then the canon goes off at 10:00. The 'canon' is killing me because it makes my babies come tearing down the hall screaming. Well, the one that's not stuck in a crib anyway. That poor thing is in terror until I can rescue her. We were in the backyard last night when that damn thing went off and I hope to all that's Holy, that bastard heard my children's screams. Apparently not because it went off about 20 minutes after I got Monkey #1 to sleep tonight. Luckily for me, they slept through it.
We are back to sleep training 101. Since 3 days before July 4th, they've both been in bed with yours truly and it's been exhausting. Because the little one is so unaccustomed to sleeping with others, it takes her about three hours to settle down and actually fall asleep. I'll slowly open my left eye to catch a sideways glance and she;ll be looking right at me, bottle in mouth, bunny on the nose. Then she starts talking to her doggie and her bunny and I've begun to wonder if she does that every night. At any rate, once she actually falls asleep she rolls over and over and over. So I end up carrying her to her bed somewhere between 11:00 and 12:00pm. Monkey #1 just doesn't want to fall asleep ever. I was the exact same when I was a kid so I'm gettin' my come-upence. She's a afraid. And I think she's afraid because of her dreams and I know exactly how that feels being a vivid dreamer myself. She would push the little one's buttons until about 10:00 after all of my threatening and finally just pass out. Last night was the first night Monkey #1 fell asleep looking at her baby sister and then her baby sister kept saying, "Nigh, nigh Sissy. I yuv you." while she ran her little hand down the side of Monkey #1's head. I was melting and probably cried a little. I eventually took the rock tumbler to her crib when she was too tired to protest. And big monkey's been sleeping in my bed all night every night. So tonight I decided every one's going back to their beds so I can get some damn sleep. (I won't really, but that just comes with the territory) Little Monkey did pretty well. She only cried once, I got her a fresh diaper and got her back to sleep by 8:30. Easy as pie. Monkey #1 on the other hand... well, we all know she's my hard case sleeper. Looking back, she was not an easy baby. I held her hours on end while she cried to try to get her to sleep. I sang to her, tried to rock her. She hated being rocked, I had to be standing and she hated pacifiers. I'd put her in my bed and have a death grip on her sleep sack and finally it got to where I just couldn't deal. So I let her cry it out. It took about three days but she managed. I'd go in at 5, 7, 10 and 15 minutes and I cried with her the first night. This all happened before the three road trip summer which ruined it all. This is when she developed a serious gag reflex and I can't tell you how many times I've washed that car seat cover, her rugs, bed skirts, baths at 9:00pm for two. So she's slept with me in some form or fashion since she was a year old. Either by falling asleep in my bed and being carried to hers or me sitting in her bed until she's fallen asleep. She usually comes out twice, at 11:30ish and 4:30ish. I'll take her back to her bed at 11:30 and try not to pass out in there with her. Usually at 4:30, she just climbs on in and snuggles up to me. She is now old enough to tell me she doesn't know how to fall asleep, she wants sprite, she needs to get something very specific, certain things in her room scare her and I have to put them all in the closet, etc. Tonight, we went back to where we were a week ago. We cleaned up, she played a little, she got in her bed, I gave her a kiss and sat down with my back to her and reminded her of the 'Sleep Rules': Get in bed, Close your eyes, Stay very quiet and go to sleep. She tried to get out of bed three times at which point I told her I could go out and sit in the hall until she fell asleep. Which is were I would eventually like to be. Preferably before this baby comes. She questioned every noise she heard, I explained them as I do every night telling her to stay in bed, close her eyes, be very quiet and go to sleep. Finally she gave out by 9:00 and I had managed to make my way to the door beforehand. Not bad. Twenty minutes later that damn canon went off and I about ran out the door to scream my head off at those you know what's. But they slept through and I maintained my dignity.
I've decided to write a book for my girls about all the sounds we hear at night. Hell, we used to live in the flight path of the Nashville airport, now a Vespa scares them to death. I'll have to work on that.
Potty Training Update: my sweet baby girl has not had one accident and has mastered potty training in a week. We're still working in the night shift but that'll come soon. I couldn't be more proud of her.
On a personal note, I have so many things I want to do, so many things I need to do and so many things I have to do. It's really hard to juggle all of those. I'm trying to work my way to bringing in some sort of income without having to go out and get a full time job, which I sometimes really wish I had. Not only to contribute but to have a life outside my home. It's really hard to try to start at something while being interrupted a gazillion times a day. It's really hard to be a Mom. Don't feel bad about it and don't let anyone else let you feel bad about it. Do your best and hopefully they'll see. Great, the train's come and woken up the little one. She's got five minutes. Until tomorrow....
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