Saturday, July 28, 2012
It Happened Again
While I was updating the masses on my bedtime struggles with Monkey #1, she slipped out of my room and ended up outside with the Monkey King because he left the door open. I slipped Monkey #2 into her bed without any issue and came down to get little Miss Willful and take her to bed. She fought it the whole way, kicking and screaming. At least I wasn't the one carrying her. I had her in her room with my back against the closed door and I witnessed a child I didn't know existed. It dawned on me that she is incredibly angry about something, I have my theories, but this is serious. She's been pretty hateful towards me for awhile now and it's just picking up steam. Last night, she lost it: tore apart her castle tent (nothing irreparable), kicked and then dumped over her toy chest (no small feat) and then came the personal assault ending with two amazing primal screams. I did my best to remain calm and just deflect her. But she was scratching, slapping, punching and kicking. She hit me so hard a couple of times, I slapped her hand. I kept my voice calm and just tried to push her away when she came at me, not hard, just deflection. This is not malevolent anger towards me, this is something different all together. She's angry. Very angry. And it's up to her father and me to figure out what it is. The new baby is obvious but it's got to be more. After screaming, she finally asked me to get in bed with her then yelled at me not to lay down so I knelt next to her bed. We were both crying and I was asking her why she was so angry. She can't pinpoint it because she's not yet four. I asked open ended ended questions and we talked for awhile. I told her how much I loved her, how my whole life revolved around her and her sister and how we would get through this, whatever it is. I kissed her, hugged her and told her goodnight. Then I sat outside her door for five minutes until she was asleep. She's willful, stubborn, relentless and loving, funny, and usually very respectful, but something is making her unhappy and I need to figure it out. Wish me luck.
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Ohhh Mrs.Moody. My heart just aches for you at the moment. I have my own hard headed, stubborn and angry child. No idea what to do or what the problem is. I send you lots of "good vibes" for some clarity and peace. This isn't easy to deal with as a regular, non pregnant woman....adding the raging emotions of pregnancy to the mix?! Sheeeesh. I always silently whisper to myself, "it's just a phase, it's just a phase, hopefully it is just a phase". Not sure if it helps or not, but it sure does keep me from shouting profanities at my son.
ReplyDeleteLots and lots AND lots of love being sent your way. Now go for a spoonful of nutella, a nice bath, followed by an early bedtime. <3
Oh Isabella... This blog touched me deeply. You just described Damion to a T. He was exactly the same at her age. By the time he was 4, my mom and I were both convinced he would end up in jail for assault at a young age. I ended up taking him to a child psychologist. He did an amazing turn about all on his own, before he even got in to see the psychologist. They told me it sounded like something was wrong from my description, but they couldn't tell me what, as it had stopped by the time they saw him. Over the years his rages have come and gone many, many times. He's now 11.5, and sometimes he's still very,very angry. But he did learn to stop taking his anger out physically, and mostly now he just yells and screams. I still don't know what's wrong with him. I've taken him to a few different counselors and psychologists, and never gotten any good answers. I pray that your journey is easier, and that you and your husband and children figure it out, and can help her. It is a terrible thing to have to watch your child go through this, and be soooo angry, and not know how to help. Big, big hugs to you and to all of your family.
ReplyDeleteThank you both! xoxoxo
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