My weight has yo-yo'd most of my life but going off to college actually made that yo-yo plummet and I lost a lot of weight. No doubt as a result of my extra curricular activities with a group of friends who were very, very wrong for me. I eventually dropped out of that particular college as she and I were not particularly well suited for each other. Having attended small schools my whole life, the sheer size (30,000 students) was exceptionally difficult for me to handle. I mean really, 300 students in my History of Rock and Roll Class? No thank you. I experienced my first bout of depression in Austin, and began seeing a psychotherapist with whom I was not entirely open and didn't really trust so it didn't really help much. This is not related to the ephedra but shows I am predisposed to depressive moments. Assuredly brought on by said extracurricular activities and some of the relationships I had. I am also exceptionally guarded. I moved back to Houston within a year and a half and began working for one of our family businesses. I then began attending U of H, another mistake, soon after. Every summer I was home from Austin, and then when I moved back, I would go to the gym almost every day. I would also take one or two tablets, which were sold commercially as 'diet pills', to increase my stamina and boost my workouts. They contained huge amounts of ephedra, ma huang, guarana root etc. Ephedra was banned by the FDA eight years later and I really wish I'd never taken the damn things. The bottle said to take two, three times a day, which probably would have made me stroke out or have a heart attack. As it was, taking this crap for a year or so brought on my anxiety in a big way. My first panic attack was scary. I was at the gym on the bike, riding my 22 miles when I got dizzy. I got off, sat down by the water fountain and put my head between my knees trying not to pass out. I thought I hadn't eaten enough or that my blood sugar was low. On my way home, I had to pull over 3 times. I nursed some OJ and ate a little chocolate, (chocolate cures everything in my experience) and I recovered. The next day, I went back and began my workout. This one was an epic fail and I left immediately thinking my body was telling me to take a break. Then a true 100%, no holds barred panic attack set in. I made it to a place where I knew a bunch of people, and I was freaking out. I thought I was having a heart attack: heart racing, blurry vision, tingling and sweaty hands, feeling like I was dying. I called my brother to ask him to come get me and take me to the hospital, his exact words, "Dude, you're havin' a panic attack. Just relax, you'll be fine." What? That's it? But I'm dying. I drank some orange juice and ate something more substantial (thinking I'd choke on it) and eventually calmed down enough to go home. I think I sat there for about four hours. I made a doctor's appointment immediately and was seen the next day. I went through a barrage of prods, pokes and an EKG, and I was fine. The doctor then asked me if I was taking any supplements... uh, yup. "OH, well there you go, the ephedra has kick started anxiety and you need to stop taking them immediately. Is there a history of anxiety in your family? There is? Sucks for you. I'll prescribe celexa which is an anti-depressant and helps with anxiety." WHAT? So he shared with me a little research about ephedra that I probably wouldn't have found online as the Internet was practically an infant at the time. Side Effects: a whole lot of really uncomfortable and terribly frightening things that will make you stop taking this crap in a heartbeat. My doctor was from India and was very knowledgeable on the uses of ephedra in holistic medicine, so I threw it out immediately and started taking celexa.
Well isn't this fun! My first week on celexa and I feel totally stoned, have eye tremors and have tunnel vision. (that goes away eventually) So I go to my sister's house to love on my baby niece, one of the best therapies. Soon, I'll be off to live with my parents to run their antique store in paradise... The Rocky Mountains of Colorado. That's where the real fun begins when I'm diagnosed with severe endometriosis and get to go through medically induced menopause... at the ripe old age of 22. Stay tuned...
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