For any of you who live in, hail from or have family in Arkansas, forgive me. I've concluded that that state has it out for me. It's a gorgeous place, west of Little Rock. Hot Springs was really beautiful and the northwest was lovely. The 'wrong' guy I was dating, yeahp, followed him to Little Rock. I must have been derranged. Completely delusional and in such wretched denial to follow him anywhere. But I was running, from everything. If I had just confided in my family... Then of course, I would not be where I am today. I was the proud owner of a 1987 Black Honda Prelude which could be heard from at least two miles away until I fixed that damn muffler. It also had a kink somewhere so when it was REALLY hot, I had to kick it under the dashboard to get it started. Oh, and it had no air conditioning. I was driving a death-trap. So I set out east and had to find a job. I worked in a restaurant for about three days. I was so used to my beautifully cleaned well run place in Houston, this place had actual piles of wet flour in the corners, it was disgusting. I went to a temp agency, which I probably could have run and ended up walking out. Then I went to the mall. Retail it shall be. I went to Bath & Body Works because I loved their stuff, and ended up at Victoria's Secret where I was promoted from lead to 'Co-Manager' fairly quickly. I'm a no nonsense worker, but I'm empathetic towards my employees. Though I know when I'm being played, with the horrible exception of almost all the guys I ever dated. I've been to a lot of places and done a lot of things in my life, it seemed that everyone I worked with had never left the state of Arkansas and just didn't believe things I interjected into conversation. Like how awesome Vietnemese food is, or how beautiful the Champs Elysee is at Christmas, or how there was a banana tree growing in our hotel restaurant in Ambregris-Cay. I was born in Mexico City, raised in the 4th largest city in the country, and I felt like a pariah. Then my car broke, needed a new engine broke. And instead of the man who was supposed to be looking out for me and taking care of me, getting me to and from work safely... I walked, 5 miles to work. If I got off in the afternoon, I'd walk back. If I got off at night, he'd either pick me up so drunk he couldn't see or send me a cab. I spent $2500 on that stupid car with the measly money I made and he didn't help with one cent. Did I mention he's the one who found the car for me? I made one friend, one really good friend and I love her to this day. She saved my life while I was there. My General Manager ended up leaving VS to open a Coldwater Creek and I begged her to take me with her, which she did. Finally, a company with mature employees and mature clientelle and really cute homegoods. I was the Assistant Manager over logistics and inventory and we had another Assistant Manager over Customer Service who HATED me, with a passion, for reasons completely unbeknownst to me. She's the main reason I did what I had to do to get out of that state. During the time I was working with the devil, my ex was up to some seriously no good shennanigans. I was also having pain again. I found a doctor and he kept me on provera and had me get a bone density scan to check if the Lupron caused any decrease in bone density (minimal). I ended up facing surgery again and Mom flew up for it.
I ommitted something exceptionally important in my previous post. In the post-operative report from my previous surgery, it stated that they had found an endometrial lesion on my left ureter but were not able to remove it in fear of damaging the ureter which would have cause much bigger problems.
I had my surgery. The doctor used the same incision sites where he could, but instead of using sutures, he used glue. Seriously? Glue, right where my waist bands go? Where I've had two previous incisions? So now I have a HUGE scar on my belly button which was once hardly noticeable, it also took three weeks to heal instead of one. After surgery, he told me they removed some stuff and there was no evidence of endo on my left ureter. Well, that's good news!! Mom was only able to stay until the day after surgery and then my bonehead ex went to Chile with his best friend a day later. Leaving me alone to take care of myself. I didn't even tell Mom.
I began having panic attacks again. I had my car back (almost three months later) but everytime I got in it I began to panic. I panicked at work, while I was eating, it was scary. One day, I went to my doctor mid-attack and they took my blood pressure, the nurse looked at me and said, "This cuff must be broken, let me get another one." So she did, "Let me go get the head nurse." The head nurse came in and took my blood pressure, 190 over 110. They almost flipped. I felt like I was having a heart attack. My doctor, who was awesome, prescribed klonopin and celexa and told me to get next door to the pharmacy and take two klonopin and not to leave until I felt calm. They kept me at the office and helped me calm down before they let me go to the pharmacy next door and one of the nurses delivered my prescriptions. My pharmacist was awesome too. They had the second best tomato basil soup and they had big train chai, my favorite. I went to work the next day and let my GM know how high my BP had been the day before and she was shocked. I told her I just needed to stay in the stockroom as much as possible. Meanwhile, I was stealing a sales job out from under my ex because he just couldn't get it. I drive into Nashville for my interview and get a blowout on the highway. I aced my interview and the little math test my ex failed and had to get four new tires. Wonderful. I got the hell outta' dodge. I told my ex I was moving ASAP. Found an apartment in Nashville and went to work. 100% commission in the construction industry and I felt the worst pressure to succeed as I was the only female account executive. At least I could dish out as much as I could take and became a worthy adversary. I was happy in Nashville, completely miserable in my relationship and my job pretty much sucked. At least I found a Church to attend. I'm worn out talking about this time in my life so I'll continue tomorrow with the fall of my measly little cottage. Until then....
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